I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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