I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
