My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
They are going to name an STD after you.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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