I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
ok first of all what the fuck
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
