just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
pray to the hookup gods
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
