I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
