I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
