I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
