I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
