So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
