all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
