You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
