There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
