I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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