Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
