their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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