just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
