Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
