He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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