he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
