we have pet lesbian snakes
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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