Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
