I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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