This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
