So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
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Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
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I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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