just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
