Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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