Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
