..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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