It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My vagina is officially offended.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
