2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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