I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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