she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
