she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
