Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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