I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I need to sanitize my soul.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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