youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
