you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i would one night stand the shit outta him
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
