ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just invented taco cereal.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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