I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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