soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
