Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
