its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
