where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
