A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
why is half of my head shaved?
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