hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
