Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
