Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
