He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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