I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
