Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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