barbara walters just said penis...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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