"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize