Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize