hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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