Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize