Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
