Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I touched a dick in church today
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
false alarm, still single
Randomize
